The first day of kindergarten. A rite of passage. For most parents, it is huge. Many parents take the big day off from work in order to be there as their child steps up onto that big bus for the first time, video camera in one hand and tissues in the other. They take pictures upon pictures and make sure the day is one that remains in their memories forever.
Right through elementary school parents usually to do their very best to attend all school events. The school committees and ice cream socials are usually full of willing parents. Parents want to know the teachers and other people in the school. They ask their child what they did that day and if they made any new friends. They read to their children. They tuck them in at night and make sure they are as happy as can be.
Then one day that child is no longer that cute, little, innocent, cuddly child anymore. He is now a talking-back middle schooler that just seems not so cuddly. Most kids this age don’t even want to talk let alone explain how their day was. Not very inviting to Mom and Dad. The attendance at parent school meetings dwindles. The effort changes.
But that ‘rolling-the-eyes teen’ is still that same child that wants you there. They might not really know it yet, but they do. Now of course there are boundaries. I stopped going to the middle school bus stop regularly, however do take a picture of them no matter what age they are on the first day of school. The goal isn’t to embarrass them, but they will look back one day and so will you and wonder where you were that day. Did I really miss that day? Where was I? How did I not know? Would it really have been that hard to make arrangements?
Of course too our schedules usually get crazier and busier as our kids get older. I sometimes feel like a zombie just dropping my kids off here and there between working, figuring out whats for dinner, glancing over at the dishes piled in the sink, as I step over four loads of laundry on the way out the door. I often wonder why we stop working when we have babies and then go back to work when our kids are in school! I sometimes think the opposite may have worked out better.
Parents who have their first child entering kindergarten now may think, What do you mean? I plan to be very involved right through college. Sometimes this is easier said than done. As our kids get older we give them more independence and more responsibilities. All good stuff. But this all makes it really easy to forget sometimes that we still need to be there. Not so much for PTA meetings or homeroom duties, but basically just to remember to be involved. Ask questions, be a part of their excitement, know their friends, know what they are doing in school. Talk, talk, talk. Know your kid…not just your child.
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